When you turn even one adversary into an advocate, you begin to elevate the entire organization.
Mary Olson-Menzel is the founder and CEO of MVP Executive Development and co-founder of Spark Insight Coaching. Michelle Powers is a fractional chief of staff.
Have you ever had someone at work who just … doesn’t seem to be “on your team?”
Maybe it’s a peer who pushes back on every idea. A direct report who holds you at a distance or never seems fully on board. Or a senior stakeholder who questions your leadership decisions at every turn. Sometimes there’s history or misalignment or it can simply feel like they don’t like you. Whatever the reason, it can really be unsettling.
These moments can feel deeply personal, even when they’re not meant to be. When left unaddressed, these moments ripple outward and impact many relationships. You may find yourself managing your energy around the tension instead of moving forward.
For communications leaders, this is a test and a true leadership moment. Your role is to influence, align and bring people together — even the ones who seem resistant. The most effective leaders don’t avoid these relationships. They directly face them and work to transform them.
Change the story you’re telling yourself
Before you address a seemingly adversarial relationship, start with your mindset. It’s easy to label someone as “difficult,” “resistant” or “not a team player.” But those labels can limit your ability to connect with and influence them.
What if, instead, you asked:
● What might be driving this behavior?
● What do they care about most?
● What might they be protecting, preserving or worried about losing?
Often, resistance is rooted in uncertainty, lack of clarity, past experience or even fear of change. When you shift your own mindset from judgment to curiosity, everything changes. This point of change is where your influence begins.
Build trust before trying to “win”
One of the most common missteps in managing adversarial relationships is trying to secure a “win” with them too quickly. You may come to them with the right data, a thoughtful strategy and a cogent argument. And yet, the change is not lasting.
That’s because alignment starts with trust, not logic or numbers. It’s important that you take the time to understand the person behind the resistance. Create space for a real conversation, not just a transactional exchange. Ask them thoughtful questions, listen without interrupting and reflect back what you’re hearing.
When people feel seen, heard and understood, the relationship begins to grow as the trust builds between you. This doesn’t happen in just one conversation, but it does start with one step forward.
Find the shared goals
Even in the most strained relationships, you can always find a point of alignment. As a communications leader, this is already a strength of yours.
This is your opportunity to uncover and elevate that shared purpose.
-
What are you both ultimately trying to achieve?
● Where do your goals intersect (even if your approaches differ)?
When you can anchor the conversation in a mutual outcome, the dynamic shifts from you vs. them to us vs. the challenge.
Use your voice with clarity and confidence
Turning adversaries into advocates often means having hard conversations. At some point, you need to clearly articulate your perspective: what you’re seeing, what you believe is needed and why it matters.
But how you do this makes all the difference:
● Ground your message in your previously established shared goals.
● Speak to your collective impact, not just opinion.
● Stay steady in your delivery — project that you are calm, clear and confident.
When your presence reflects both clarity and respect, people are more likely to lean in.
Create small wins that build momentum
Trust is built through experience and with time. As you build this relationship, look for opportunities to create meaningful wins together:
● Collaborate on a project
● Solve a problem side by side
● Deliver a result that benefits both of you and your teams
These moments matter — they begin to rewrite the relationship’s narrative. Over time, these small wins compound and the relationship begins to feel more like a partnership.
Model the leadership you want to see
People are always watching how you show up, especially in challenging dynamics:
● Do you stay composed under pressure?
● Do you listen as much as you speak?
● Do you treat others with respect, even when it’s not returned immediately?
Influence is built in the moments that test you and push you, not the easy ones. When you consistently model curiosity, clarity and calm, you set the tone for how others engage with you. Being the calmest person in the room can completely change your dynamic with others. And often, without realizing it, those around you can begin to mirror that behavior.
Elevating your advocates
Turning adversaries into advocates is about leading with intention over time, choosing curiosity and prioritizing authentic connection with those around you.
As a comms leader, this comes more naturally to you than others, as this work is at the heart of what you do. You are the bridge between perspectives and the steady voice that brings people back to your purpose.
So, the next time you encounter resistance, we invite you to see it as an invitation. This is the opportunity to deepen your influence, strengthen your leadership skills and enroll someone new into your approach to leadership.
When you turn even one adversary into an advocate, you begin to elevate the entire organization.
The post Turning adversaries into advocates: The communications leader’s guide for strategic influence appeared first on PR Daily.
