Here’s the problem with friendship these days: People say they have quality people in their corner, are even satisfied with the number of friends they have, and yearn to see them more often. Despite all this, Americans are actually spending less time socializing than ever before — a mere 35 minutes a day in 2025. When we do make plans, we schedule them weeks in advance. (Cue the I’m just so busy!) By the time the date finally rolls around, we might cancel, because we’re too stressed and want to veg out on the couch instead. In other words, we have very little follow through.
But we can close the gap between our wants and the constraints of reality by utilizing the resources we already have. Might I suggest the weekly photo dump? Every Friday in our group chat, my friends and I send a handful of photos from our weeks: pictures of dogs, of meals, of trails hiked, outfits worn, the stuff we wouldn’t necessarily share online. The photo dump is a peek behind the curtain, an intimate front-row seat to the small, slow moments that only your friends would appreciate.
If you’re prone to laziness, as I admittedly am, the photo dump has perhaps the highest effort-to-payoff ratio. The weekly cadence establishes a routine, and texting is a relatively low-lift means of staying in touch.
Since texting outpaced phone calls in 2008, many of us have primarily used the written word, and the occasional photo, to converse. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the amount of time we spend glued to our phones has only increased, too. Sure, we could all do with a little less screen time, but if you’ve already got your phone in hand, might as well use it for something socially engaging.
At the same time, the photo dump provides some much needed guardrails when it comes to the expectation to be always available. First, by choosing a time or day of the week for the dump, you eliminate the pressure to respond to sporadic messages that come in at all hours of the day. “Maybe a weekly call becomes a little bit harder to sustain for some people, but a weekly text message, especially if we could say ‘I saw this and it reminded me of you. Hope you’re well,’ that doesn’t create an immediate pressure to respond,” Peggy Liu, the Ben L. Fryrear endowed chair and professor of marketing at the University of Pittsburgh School of Business, told Vox.
Plus, having a routine when it comes to your social interactions makes it easier to stay in touch. If you’re already in the habit of catching up regularly, you’re less likely to completely fall out of contact, which eliminates the anxiety a lot of people feel when it comes to reaching out to a friend when it’s been a while. “Even in the age of social media when people were more likely to use it for a social networking purpose, having some sense that you knew what was happening in someone’s life actually gave you something to talk about once you saw them face-to-face or on a phone call,” Jeffrey A. Hall, a communication studies professor at the University of Kansas, told Vox.
Next, mutual buy-in helps quiet the anxious voice in the back of your mind that says you’re annoying and no one wants to see what you’ve been up to. The structure of the photo dump gives everyone permission to share. “There’s really nothing wrong with the idea of caring as being a central reason for doing all of this,” Hall said.
Texting may not be the most effective way to keep in touch — phone calls create stronger social bonds, according to one study — but it’s certainly preferable to no communication whatsoever. “It provides a sense of connection in the moment and a reminder that there are people in your life who care about you and are thinking of you,” Hall said. Take, for instance, one of Liu’s studies that found that people underestimate how much others appreciate their reaching out. Sending a picture of your garden in full bloom is a way of sharing something meaningful to you and also lets your friends know you’re thinking of them.
The weekly photo dump is a safe space to fill your friends in beyond the prying eyes of social media. No need to hard launch to an audience who hardly knows you — sprinkle in pictures of your new fling, who they’ve probably already heard about. Your friends will value the chaotic scene of your kids’ pool party more than the internet will, and the fact that it’s not something you’re posting on Instagram makes the interaction feel that much more intimate. “The social obligation amongst five to 10 friends is a lot stronger than an obligation to [the] social media audience as a whole,” Hall said. “There’s a lot of possibilities from more meaningful and richer exchanges in that kind of context than there would be in your 500 friends on Facebook back in the day.”
My last photo dump included pictures of a friend’s cat in her fridge, my backyard looking dreamy under string lights, a manicure, a towering ice cream cone. None of these moments will be etched into the annals of history, but I feel closer to my friends having witnessed the tiny snapshots of their lives. And that’s what friendship is: being there for the small stuff.
“We know what’s going on in each other’s lives,” Hall said. “And those things are the hallmark of what it means to be in a relationship with someone.”
