Starting over after a divorce is often framed as an emotional reset — new routines, new homes, and eventually new relationships. But Dellino Family Law Group’s new analysis shows that for most Americans, the first year after divorce is also one of the most expensive chapters of their lives. Beyond the average $11,300 legal bill, the study finds that the lifestyle cost of rebuilding amounts to an additional $23,880 in Year One alone.
It is a financial shift that catches many people off-guard. What feels like a fresh start comes with a long list of new expenses: dating, childcare, therapy, health insurance, housing deposits, moving costs, wardrobe changes, and the slow process of rebuilding credit and stability. And most of these costs arrive before a new routine feels settled.
Dating Again: A Quiet but Significant Expense
One of the biggest surprise costs is re-entering the dating world. Americans spend an average of $213 a month when they begin dating again, which includes everything from drinks to transport to grooming. About a third of singles use dating apps — and many pay for upgrades. Subscriptions such as Hinge+ ($100 for six months) and The League ($400 for three months) quickly add up, especially when used alongside monthly boosts or premium filters.
There is also a gender gap: men spend about $97 per month on in-person dates, while women spend closer to $40, largely because men more often cover venue and travel costs. Grooming remains nearly equal for both sides. Altogether, dating quietly becomes a recurring budget line while income and routines are still in transition.
Wardrobe, Identity, and Reinvention
Another overlooked cost comes from the desire to “refresh” — a wardrobe that feels reflective of a new life stage or the re-entry into social spaces after years in a marriage. Many people spend $250–$600 on clothes in their first year post-divorce, often repeating the process seasonally as they evolve personally or professionally. It’s not vanity; it’s part of rebuilding confidence after a major life shift.
Therapy, Co-Parenting, and Emotional Labor
Emotional support is one of the most important — and expensive — elements of post-divorce life. Therapy, co-parenting counselling, and transitional support services typically cost between $1,200 and $3,000 in the first year. These expenses often begin during the separation phase and peak during the early months of re-stabilization, especially when couples are learning new communication boundaries or navigating parenting schedules.
Childcare: A Cost That Rarely Falls Quickly
For single parents, divorce often results in higher childcare spending. Nationally, the average is $13,128 per year, but the study notes that costs tend to rise for the first few years as children shift into new school programs, summer care, and after-school activities. Even parents with older children rarely see a major drop until Year Three or later, meaning the financial pressure remains steady long after the divorce decree is final.
Health Insurance: The COBRA Shock
Healthcare is another area where timing matters more than people realize. When one spouse loses coverage from the other’s employer plan, COBRA premiums can soar to 102% of the original cost. Many people stay on COBRA temporarily and then transition to marketplace plans, which typically bring premiums down by 8–15% after the next plan year resets. But switching mid-year often triggers a fresh deductible, doubling medical out-of-pocket costs if not timed strategically.
Housing, Moving, and the Permanent Baseline Reset
A new place to live can be liberating — but it is rarely cheap. Between movers, deposits, furniture, storage, and unexpected upgrades, households often spend $1,500 to $10,000 on relocation. More importantly, rent almost always resets at a higher baseline; most divorced adults end up paying 3–6% more long-term for housing than they did pre-divorce. That new baseline is one of the most stubborn financial shifts of the entire post-divorce timeline.
Legal Fees Aren’t the Whole Story
Attorney fees vary widely by region, ranging from an average of $11,300 nationally to $14,435 in California and $13,835 in New York. But Dellino’s analysis makes clear that focusing on legal fees alone obscures the true financial picture. Legal costs are often a one-time event; lifestyle and transition costs build slowly but relentlessly over the first year.
When combined, Year One typically includes:
- $23,880 in restart expenses
- $11,300 in legal costs
- a permanent 3–6% rise in housing
- childcare pressure that lasts several years
- healthcare costs that spike before easing
The result is a first-year budget that can feel as heavy as the emotional adjustment itself.
Attorney Insight: What Clients Overlook Most
Dellino Family Law Group sees this pattern repeatedly.
“The first-year restart costs of $23,880 often shock clients more than the divorce itself. When people budget only for legal fees, they end up draining savings or retirement accounts just to manage basic changes — new housing, childcare, COBRA, dating, therapy. Courts assume each spouse can meet their own needs once the decree is entered. Planning for the lifestyle transition is the difference between stability and ongoing struggle.”
Why the First 4–8 Weeks Matter More Than Most People Realize
Because January and early spring are peak filing periods, the decisions made in the first few weeks — leases, health insurance elections, childcare plans, dating app renewals, therapy schedules — shape the next 4–5 years. The study finds that people who plan their “restart budget” early can reduce long-term financial strain dramatically, avoiding double deductibles, unnecessary rent inflation, and credit damage.
Divorce marks the end of one chapter — but the first-year financial reset determines what the next chapter looks like. With a clear plan, that fresh start can feel manageable instead of overwhelming.
