“At its core, a story just has to be about something everybody understands — forgiveness, loss, joy, love — and then it’s just [about] how you tell it,” said Lauren Graham, award-winning actress, producer and New York Times bestselling author.
Graham, known for portraying strong, quick-witted characters on “Gilmore Girls” and “Parenthood,” headlined the opening General Session of PRSA’s ICON 2025 today in Washington, D.C.
In her wide-ranging and entertaining conversation with Crystal Borde, co-chair of the 2025 PRSA ICON Conference planning committee, Graham reflected on creativity, connection and what keeps audiences coming back to the stories that matter most.
Where the story began
Graham credits her father’s nightly habit of reading aloud with sparking her love of storytelling — and a memorable role in a children’s theater production as the moment she realized stories could be performed.
To her, reading, acting and writing are all versions of the same practice: “It’s all embodying a story or a character.”
She also shared a full-circle moment: Diane Keaton encouraged Graham to write her first book after hearing her share personal stories between takes on the set of the 2007 romantic comedy “Because I Said So.”
That nudge — “permission and encouragement,” she said — helped launch a parallel career as an author. Her book credits include “Talking as Fast as I Can” and “Have I Told You This Already?”
The search for voice
Whether writing her own words or performing someone else’s, Graham said finding her voice took practice and patience.
“Some of it is allowing the first draft to be terrible,” she said. “You just have to get something on the page… you’ll fix it later.”
She spoke candidly about the self-doubt that creeps in, and how deadlines, even ones involving Michelle Obama’s book taking all the available paper (the two share the same publisher), can unlock unexpected breakthroughs.
Communication, collaboration and the need for honest feedback
Graham acknowledged that, like many experienced professionals, she sometimes found fewer opportunities for real critique as her career progressed. Working with a coach reminded her that growth requires outside insight and that asking for help is a strength, not a setback.
She also emphasized the importance of accountability partners and the simple strategies that keep creativity moving.
Graham shared a productivity tip that she swears by, given to her by a writer friend.
“You should only have two documents open on your computer — the thing you’re supposed to be working on, and a diary,” she said. “Either you’re making progress, or you’re freewriting, but both keep you going.”
What makes a story connect
The most powerful stories, Graham emphasized, tap into universal emotions. Audiences connect when they see themselves in the narrative. She pointed to the enduring appeal of “Gilmore Girls,” which wasn’t a ratings sensation in its original run (airing opposite “Friends”) but has since grown into a global phenomenon.
“It lasts because of the core relationship… and because life feels like ‘Severance’ and we’d rather it feel like Stars Hollow.”
Graham told Borde, vice president and community-driven communications practice lead at Vanguard Communications, that women-led stories resonate when they prioritize characters and relationships over engineering demographics.
“Start with who we care about, not who we’re trying to target,” she said.
Writing as a creative anchor
Writing offers Graham purpose and structure between acting roles, and a way to keep creative muscles strong and a community motivated.
“The first thing writing did for me is give me something to do… something to dream about,” she said.
She shared advice for communicators facing creative fatigue:
• Give yourself permission for imperfection.
• Set a timer for 10 to 20 minutes and just begin.
• Lean on collaborators, including coaches, peers and friends, for accountability.
Stories as a path to joy
Reflecting on fulfillment in work and life, Graham encouraged attendees to focus less on “what’s next” and more on the day ahead.
“What’s my day going to feel like? Am I going to laugh? Who will I be with?”
She also highlighted kindness and empathy as essential tools for communicators.
“It’s how we connect, build trust and understand each other,” she said.
Graham closed with a reminder that storytelling isn’t just entertainment — it’s a way to build deeper connections in a noisy world.
With humor, heart and an unmistakable storyteller’s spark, Graham opened ICON with a reminder of why communications matters: It’s how we connect.
Photos: albert chau photography
