The weekend tone was set early on the first tee at Bethpage Black golf course on Long Island Saturday morning when U.S. comedian and Ryder Cup emcee Heather McMahan exhorted the crowd to chant “Fuck you, Rory.”
The “Rory” in question was Europe’s top golfer, world No. 2 and reigning Masters champion Rory McIlroy, generally well-liked in the U.S. and married to an American, Erica Stoll, for the past eight years. Last week he called America “the land of opportunity” and “the best country in the world.”
McMahan stepped down from her remaining duties and apologised for her inappropriate “banter.” The PGA of America, which hired McMahan, eventually apologised too, both for this incident and the abuse the European players and their families endured around the course (who thought hiring her was a smart idea, by the way, when her form of schtick was well known?).
Some of the PGA’s apologies felt a little forced, and there were ill-advised references to supposed trouble at the last Ryder Cup, which was held in Italy in 2023. All this led to a few insults being handed out to European players by spectators on the first day of the biennial Ryder Cup tournament on Friday, but by Saturday, and especially on Sunday, all bets were off and the liquored-up crowd went into overdrive.
The away team, especially McIlroy, Tommy Fleetwood, Shane Lowry and their families, were subjected to a constant barrage of chanting while they were on their shot, grossly offensive comments about their wives and families, even a drink hitting Stoll on Sunday afternoon.
Morons shouting booze-fueled profanities and unfunny one-liners while players are driving such as “fore right,” and old classics such as “U.S.A. U.S.A. U.S.A.” and “get in the hole” dominated.
This week, PRWeek Hall of Famer Bill Imada’s IW Group unveiled The Civility Paradox, a 3,000-person study of U.S. adults that showed two-thirds of Americans report negative effects from incivility and subsequent mental health issues.
It suggests Americans see themselves as civil, but perceive society as increasingly uncivil. TV news and social media influencers are seen as the primary sources of division. More than half of respondents said civility is worse than a decade ago.
Digital aggression and polarized politics are the top themes cited for the decline in civility, with societal values shifting from respect, manners, kindness and shared standards. Imada dug deeper into the report findings on The PR Week podcast this week.
That tallied with interviews I watched of U.S. fans at Bethpage who admitted abusing McIlroy but added that they love him for the rest of the year outside the Ryder Cup. “What do you expect when you come to New York?” one of them added.
Others referenced European sports such as soccer and the aggro that has traditionally been associated with those activities.
While it’s true you can’t attend a soccer game without hearing constant bad language and chanting, and fans have to be segregated otherwise they would likely start fighting each other, you would be thrown out of the ground by a steward if you perpetrated some of the homophobic, mysoginistic and in-your-face aggression to participants that was seen at Bethpage last weekend.
And let’s be honest, comparing golf and football is not apples to apples – a higher standard of behavior is expected on and off the golf course.
One of the paradoxes pointed out in the IW Group research is that incivility online is exacerbated by not seeing someone’s face or not perceiving them as a person, rather seeing them as words on a screen, with anonymity and algorithms doubling down the problem.
But, as the Ryder Cup showed, incivility is also frequently seen in-person. According to the research, it leads 57% of Americans to withhold their honest opinions to avoid conflict in such situations.
Many U.S. golf fans in attendance were just as disgusted by the bad behavior as the European players were. And some of the U.S. players also clearly felt uncomfortable with what their peers on the European team were having to endure, leading them to attempt to placate the crowd, especially at key moments in the tee boxes and on the greens.
But others, such as Bryson DeChambeau, were in manic cheerleader mode and did nothing but rile up the crowd to demonstrate the latter’s vilest tendencies. It was telling that the gathered masses spent most of their time abusing the opposing team rather than supporting and motivating their own players.
It’s also worth pointing out that there was no need for the use of curse words by McIlroy in the closing press conference, even though he was rightly upset by the treatment his wife had received. The general vibe was also that the European team was at the start of a booze-fueled rager that would have put some of the over-served Americans in the crowd in the shade by comparison.
A social media post of the Euro team celebrating and chanting “Are you watching Donald Trump?” was actually taken well by the golf-loving President, who replied “Yes, I was watching. Congratulations!”
Four out of 10 respondents to The Civility Paradox research named sports coaches as unifiers who can help people feel more connected.
European captain Luke Donald handled himself with diplomacy and decorum throughout the competition, while still fiercely backing his players and motivating them in his effective but understated manner in the process.
But the sight of U.S. captain Keegan Bradley sprinting up the course after the team’s final practice round on Thursday afternoon waving a massive American flag didn’t immediately suggest he was going to be one of those unifiers the civility research earmarked – and that proved to be correct as the weekend progressed.
The unique snapshot of the state of civility at the Ryder Cup in a real-life setting suggested that every individual has to play some small part in restoring a climate where it is possible to agree to disagree without resorting to abuse and physical conflict, and have a civil discourse while doing it.
Hopefully the next iteration of the Ryder Cup at Adare in Ireland will demonstrate all the passion and good-natured rivalry that only sports can provide, while exhibiting the mutual respect, hospitality and geniality – and yes, civility – that the Irish have come to be known for.
And the golf at Bethpage? Well, the Europeans dominated the first two days of the match and looked to be heading for a record victory before the Americans staged an amazing, though ultimately futile, comeback on Sunday, leaving the away team 15-13 winners.
That’s what we really should have been talking about after the match.
